The Other Me

I has so much delicious fun with the cardoncelli (king oyster mushrooms) alla cacciatora the other week, that I vowed to try and adapt a few other meaty recipes for them.
In the meantime though, they seem to have vanished from the shelves something I suspect has to do with those mushrooms having become quite trendy and therefore the production being poached early by chefs, with very little reaching retail.
But I found some last Thursday so decided to attempt to recreate a Roman classic dish, coda alla vaccinara, in a vegan/vegetarian key.
After all, if Obelix was able to understand directions for “Sanglier à la crème” as being “the same as for ‘fraises à la crème’ but with boar instead”, I
ought to be able to wing it in quite the same manner. Right?

RIGHT.

The recipe is fairly long because it start with making a “soffritto”, i.e. the basis for a lot of Italian savory dishes, in particular stews.
You need to take a carrot, one or two celery branches (mine were small so I used two), and an onion, all diced finely and slow cooked in oil (about an hour) in a heavy pan.

This will give you more than you need for the recipe but you can freeze any leftover in small portions for a next time (this amount of soffritto should be good for four dishes).

Once this is done and you only have a fourth of the soffritto in your pan, you can add some more oil (or butter) and fry your cardoncelli which you will have cut in two lengthwise. Fry them on the cut side.

Once they have coloured, add a glass of dry white wine, a teaspoon of tomato paste, two glasses of (vegetable) broth, pepper, a dash of cinnamon, and some nutmeg. If you broth is already salted, no need to add salt at this stage. If it isn’t, then add a little.

This will need to cook slowly for at least an hour (an hour and a half?) in the covered dish and you will need to check to see if the juices have not reduced too much. If they have, add a little water or broth.

After that time, put the mushroom on a plate and add half a teaspoon of dark cocoa to the liquid and partially liquidize/emulsify the sauce with an immersion blender (it’s better if you transfer the juices into a tall recipient as otherwise the sauce tends to splatter). Taste. Add salt and pepper to taste.

You can then return the sauce and mushrooms to the heavy dish and warm them up/keep them warm until serving time.
The sauce is extremely tasty so you’ll want to have something neutral to go with your cardoncelli. Like mashed potatoes or white beans, plain rice or broad flat pasta. You could even go mad and use this as the basis for lasagna.

 

Leap of Faith Brownies, obviously.






Given to me on the 15th February 1984 by my then highschool friend Karen, this recipe is worlds away from any type of baking I had done back then and remains so today.
The recipe baffles me completely. It does not make any sense. Yet it works.

You see, I am used to recipes where you mix all sorts of ingredients, more or less carefully, to obtain a batter than can then be poured into a baking tin and then cooked. The mixture can be fairly liquid or stiff but in general it is still a manageable smooth batter.

Not that thing!
First you have to mix
1 cup of flour (sifted)
½ cup of sugar (was ¾ but I cut down on that)
¾ cup chopped pecan nuts (I use hazelnuts, easier to find here)
½ cup of milk
¼ cup of cocoa
2 tbs soft butter
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla
¼ tsp salt

And then you get this:



This is some unruly mess, let me tell you! It is always a struggle to get the whisks out and I have to forcefully spoon the mixture into a buttered oven proof dish (11”7”2” read my instructions).

With such as a result:



But wait! There is more!
You have to mix

1 ¾ cup of hot water
½ cup of brown sugar (again, was ¾)
2 tbs cocoa.

And then drown the previous mixture in that:



Does this look like a cake in the making to you? To me this is more redolent of trying to make petrol in mud puddles as a kid...

You should then bake it (350 F for 35-40 minutes) and wait, expecting it to become a cake sort of thing.
To me this is totally a leap of faith.
I remember baking this for the first time and wondering what was wrong with the recipe (all of it said the gut feeling). However, it turned out fine!
More than fine, a wonderful surprise too.



For the top of the cake becomes brownie like, while the bottom becomes a rich chocolate sauce (see the glistening dark bit on the picture above? That's it!)
Perfect to eat warm with a scoop of ice cream and whipped cream.

And a surprising thing is that, when I last prepared the dish, I was baking and writing (never a good idea but at NaNo time as it was back then, 40 minutes of free time are too precious to waste).
The timer went off (at least I had not forgotten that) and I went to inspect the cake and take the above picture.
Then I figured I would turn the oven off and let the cake cool inside, so as to protect it from the cats. Right?
Except that I forgot to turn the oven off and I wrote for a good 25 minutes – if not more – before noticing that the fan of my oven was still going on.
Miracle: the cake had not burnt. The cream however has nearly all disappeared.

However, I figured my guest would not know about this last bit and eat the brownies all the same.
Which they did. Compliments to the chef and all.
So many thanks to Karen whose amazing – amazing? More like mind boggling – recipe so unwittingly saved my arse after all these years.

Having posted this picture on IG,

I was faced with requests for the recipe.
A problem this, as I totally eyeballed it – as usual.

It is a #NoWaste thing so it makes use of old bread (a mix of panini all’olio, sourdough and whole wheat slices left over from a wine tasting event the week before), old goat milk (i.e., long conservation yet still past its “best before” date. Obviously you are more than welcome to use any fresh milk you want - even almond or oat ones will do), FRESH eggs, various cheese bits and bobs. Some cream (it was long conservation and not yet past its prime).
The true issue here are quantities, hence the eyeballing.

I cut the old bread in bits and dumped the old milk (it was a half-litre pack) on the chunks in the early morning, leaving them to soak and plump up a bit for at least two hours.
After two hours, I gave the bread bits a stir, breaking up the bigger ones and judged how much liquid I still had in the bowl, as well as evaluated how much mass of bread I had all over.
On the basis of this assessment, I decided 3 medium eggs and a small brick of cream (200 ml) could do, so I mixed them together in another small bowl. I added (very) little salt, plus a liberal amount of nutmeg and freshly ground black pepper. Then I dumped this on the bread bits, gave it another thorough mix and let them soak again for another hour.

I gathered the bits of cheese left in my fridge (on that specific day: slices of bright industrial cheddar and some smoked scamorza left from a toasted sandwich spree) and cut them in smaller pieces (slices in 9 to 12 bits, scamorza in hazelnut to walnut sized bits), which I added to the bread mix at the end of the second soak.

Then I buttered a deep 28cm silicone dish, coating it further with breadcrumbs, then dropped all the gunk in there.

My oven was already on (on 165c) for (long) broth making so I just added another shelf and plopped the torta in there. Now because of the fairly low temperature used, it took my torta quite a long time to bake (about 1 hour and a half? Possibly even more.) but obviously you can just cook yours at higher temperature and adjust the cooking time. The long baking time allowed for the bread to still soak some of the liquids (usually bread butter pudding recipes tend to prescribe 45 minutes cooking time, I suppose for that same reason) but if you are in a hurry, by all means, do raise your oven temperature.
In any case, do regularly check the consistency with a knife: The blade should come out slightly wet still but without eggy go on it.

Let the torta cool in the dish before unmoulding. Best eaten warm, but can totally be reheated in a microwave.

In the present case, an optional bunch of chopped assorted mushrooms (champignons and pleurotus) was pan-fried and dumped on top of the torta. You may dress yours as you please or leave like this with a side of salad.

This is a recipe my friend Alice had us prepare at a Garden To Table event a few weeks ago. Since the rolls are best eaten at room temperature, it’s a perfect prepare-ahead dish and if you have the means to transport it safely, a good picnic item. You can even stuff sandwiches with a couple of these rolls, or eat them on top of a mixed leaves salad.



You will need (for 2 persons):
2 long aubergines
1 thick slice of swordfish (2 cm high)
Mint, basil, parsley. More than you think.
Red onion or spring onion.
Optional chili (seeds out)
Olive oil.

Stick you piece of fish in the freezer before starting, it will be easier to slice thinly later on.

You will start by slicing the aubergines. Ideally each slice should be 2 to 3 mm thick and cut in the length of the eggplants, so that you can later roll them. Count them (now or after they are cooked).

My friend roasted hers in a hot oven (20 minutes or so?) but you can also grill them in a skillet or barbecue. This is best as it imparts a lovely smoky taste to the slices, which will go nicely with the swordfish.
In my case however, it was too hot to contemplate use of oven of standing over a grill so I put the slices in a deep glass dish, salted them slightly, covered and put them in the microwave at 900 W for 5 minutes. If you do go this way, you will have to drain them afterwards as they will have released water.

The eggplant slices can be left out to cool while you chop your herbs, chili if using, and onions together. Judging the quantity that you need to have for the rolls is very tricky, roughly a spoonful of mix per slice is necessary. In any case, you can change the herbs to suit your taste (or availability) and add more onions or not add any.

Now it is time to take your swordfish from the freezer and cut it in thin slices. Carpaccio-thin slices. You’ll need a sharp knife but hopefully the cold will have firmed it a bit and you should not have any problems with it.

Once it is all cut up, line each of your cooked eggplant slices with first a layer of fish and then a spoonful of herb mix. Roll them tight, salt them sparingly, and place the involtini in either an oiled oven dish or an oiled pan with a tight lid, with their ”tails” down. Drizzle a little more oil on top. Any spare bits of swordfish or herb mix can be put together with the rolls. If you are using the oven, you can also add quartered cherry tomatoes (or not).

You can then either bake them in the hot oven for about 5 (to 10) minutes OR cook on the stove top in the pan with the lid on (I did mine over an induction plate for 5 minutes).

Let them cool down to room temperature. Any juice in the pan can be used to season your bed of salad (together with a a little lemon juice) if that’s how you want to eat them, or to soak your sandwich bread in (or use as the base for a soup - don't throw it away!)

You can use other types of fish, you can either slice or mince your fish: whatever is easier for you. Sometimes fishmongers will have prepared fishburgers (usually salmon heavy) for sale. You could use this as well (as long as they are not breaded).

Sorrow found me in December and I wrote this, published in The Fib Review today

I think we've all got these types of emails. That and the penis enlargement ones.
Regardless of our sex or sexual preferences, obviously.
Just like we all get [insert African state here] scams regardless of the state of our bank account.

But it so happens hot dates are good.
Just mind that you don't burn your tongue on them.
[insert salacious emoji here]





Use un-pitted dates, preferably medjool.
In a pan or skillet heat up some olive oil.
Crumble some dried chili in it (to taste).
Add the dates and let them plump a bit and get warm (about 5 minutes). Mind that they don't burn.
Drain them in a bowl, sprinkle with salt flakes (smoked salt flakes are great if you have them)
Sprinkle them with a little grated zest of orange and lemon.

Wait until just warmish
Enjoy with a glass of wine (or your favourite aperitif drink)

1 - He was alive
2 - Hecame back
3 - He is recovering
4 - The palliative poetry i wrote was picked-up by the Fib Review

Jenni B Baker challenged us into music.
It was a fun idea but the actual making of the score is too complex fro me to wrap my mind around (also I have actual work to do and plenty)
So I followed all the steps until step 3, starting from a slice of "THE LOST ATLANTIS AND OTHER ETHNOGRAPHIC STUDIES" by one Sir DANIEL WILSON, pilfered from the Gutenberg Project.

This is my slice:
"It is to be noted that even in the time of Socrates, and indeed of the elder Critias, this Atlantis was referred to as the vague and inconsistent tradition of a remote past; though not more inconsistent than much else which the cultured Greeks were accustomed to receive. Mr. Hyde Clarke, in an “Examination of the Legend,” printed in the Transactions of the Royal Historical Society, arrives at the conclusion that Atlantis was the name of the king rather than of the dominion. But king and kingdom have ever been liable to be referred to under a common designation. According to the account in the Timæus, Atlantis was a continent lying over against the Pillars of Hercules, greater in extent than Libya and Asia combined; the highway to other islands and to a great ocean, of which the Mediterranean Sea was a mere harbour. But in the vagueness of all geographical knowledge in the days of Socrates and of Plato, this Atlantic domain is confused with some Iberian or western African power, which is stated to have been arrayed against Egypt, Hellas, and all the countries bordering on the Mediterranean Sea. The knowledge even of the western Mediterranean was then very imperfect; and, to the ancient Greek, the West was a region of vague mystery which sufficed for the localisation of all his fondest imaginings. There, on the far horizon, Homer pictured the Elysian plain, where, under a serene sky, the favourites of Zeus enjoyed eternal felicity; Hesiod assigned the abode of departed heroes to the Happy Isles beyond the western waters that engirdled Europe; and Seneca foretold that that mysterious ocean would yet disclose an unknown world which it then kept concealed. To the ancients, Elysium ever lay beyond the setting sun; and the Hesperia of the Greeks, as their geographical knowledge increased, continued to recede before them into the unexplored west.

And these are the crumbs:

and Atlantis as and a accustomed an arrives at Atlantis and a According account Atlantis a against and Asia and a a all and Atlantic African arrayed against and all and ancient a all a assigned abode and an ancients and as

be But been be But been bordering beyond beyond before

Critias cultured Clarke conclusion common continent combined confused countries concealed continued

dominion designation days domain departed disclose

even elder else Examination ever extent Egypt even Elysian enjoyed eternal engirdled Europe Elysium ever

for fondest far favourites felicity foretold

Greeks greater great geographical Greek Greeks geographical


So this is my path:

And and and
All ancient as an all A
Dominion
Confused countries
Even ever engirdled elder
But been beyond
For fondest felicity
Against again against
Disclose
Be but be
Great! Greater! Greek!


I don't believe it would be even remotely interesting as music (except, maybe, as words sung when drunk), so I'll leave it at that.

Craig Dworkin said: “Don’t cheat by kerning”, which means any other type of cheating is fine.

I used erasure bits from Buzzfeed and filled in the gaps.
Then forget to save my work. Twice.
The Gods of Typography are having a ball.

Nick Montfort  has a thing for pythons and this was the result:

Python 2.7.2 (default, Jul 20 2011, 02:32:18) [GCC 4.2.1 (LLVM, Emscripten 1.5, Empythoned)] on linux2     Traceback (most recent call last):   File "python", line 2     print “Hello, world”         ^ IndentationError: expected an indented block    

Not all is well with Slytherin