Oh show me the way to the next cocktail bar…
(Oh don’t ask why. No don’t ask why.)

Do ask why.

I don’t drink cocktails. They are by and large over-sweet for my taste and I drink very little alcohol anyway.
I tend to prefer my whiskey neat (because it’s good whiskey and I am not wasting it). Vodka, I normally use for cooking (unless it’s Żubrówka, in which case I drink it ice cold and neat with a side of blinis and salmon or fish eggs)
Therefore, when I got that chocolate martini making kit in the mail…

Chocolate martini making kit (by Blyss Chocolate)

Hang on.
Who gets chocolate martini making sets in the mail?

Why, members of the Blyss Chocolate Club, of course!
Monthly raw virgin chocolate landing at your door. Delicious eco-solidarity morsels (or powder) brought together by Alyssa, the loveliest cocoa grower and harvester you’ll ever meet. Consider getting a subscription, it is well worth it.

So I did get that kit in the mail. In June. And instructions (thank goodness). And then I immediately ran into troubles: I don’t have martini glasses.
Utter drama ensued. As you can imagine. (well, no, not really. But it could have. If I had felt strongly about cocktails in the first place. Though if I had, I most likely would not have found myself glassless. Oh well.)

Also: for health related issues, I could only sample the martini during the day (as aperitif or post prandial drink). Which meant that I could only have it during the weekend (there is sufficient mayhem at the office right now without having to add alcohol related nonsense). And I was going away for 2 weekends in a row.

Thus the kit sat – dejected – in my cupboard for almost a full month.
But by the time I was ready to have that martini, I REALLY NEEDED that martini.
(Have I mentioned that the office is murder these days?)
(That’s it’s been murder for the past seven months and is unlikely to change before… another seven or so?)

So there goes the chocolate martini mambo:

Take some good quality vodka, measure 260 ml of it (or more) in a bottle and dump the content of the raw cocoa nibs phial in it. Let it rest, shaking once a day, for at least a week.

In a saucepan, dump the content of the raw cocoa powder phial, together with sugar and 280ml water. Combine well, bring to a boil and let it cook until syrupy consistency, stirring occasionally.
Let it cool.
Once cool, put in the fridge.

Measure 4cl chocolate infused vodka, 2cl chocolate syrup, 1 cl Kalhua (or if you like me think this is WAY too sweet already, substitute by equivalent measure of strong coffee). Add a couple of ice cubes.
Shake? Stir?

Call in Daniel Craig on that one: He’s the current expert.

Or don’t.

Pour over a spoonful of chocolate coated cocoa nibs in a frosted glass.

Chocolate martini

Resist having another one: This thing is sugar-loaded.

Now that is all good and nice (very good and nice actually: that thing could become addictive) but once you’ve had a glass, what do you do with the rest of the prepared stuff?
(The Love drinks even less than I do and he hates sweet stuff even more strongly than I do so there were plenty of leftovers).

(I am shocked that you didn’t even think of this yourself)
(Disclosure: I only thought about it because I kept feeling that the martini could do with some whipped cream on top)

So what you need for the Chocolate Martini Waltz is:
- The rest of the chocolate vodka added to the rest of that espresso. It should amount to roughly 250 ml.
- The rest of the chocolate syrup It should amount to roughly 250 ml as well.
- Some agar-agar powder (mine comes in handy individual doses, each of them sufficient to gel 500 ml of liquid)

Some jelly moulds or glasses (2 to 4 depending how much you want in each serving)
Whipped cream (obviously)
The rest of the chocolate covered cocoa nibs

And, possibly some cookies of your choice.
See, alcohol doesn’t gel all that well – in fact, I didn’t really know if my attempted pudding would gel at all – so a part will not set. But there are (at least) two ways to handle this:
You crumble some of your cookies of choice at the bottom of your glass/mould and let them soak in the excess alcohol

Chocolate martini pudding

You just let the pudding float in its own alcohol, which will make a nice sauce once you have upturned the pudding in a deep dish - à la crème caramel (only in a not-suitable-for-kids type of way).

Chocolate martini pudding

For my Rome peeps, I suggest the use of Pepitas (also known as “crack”) for the first scenario.
(Pepitas are locally produced chocolate cookies loaded with dark chocolate chips and Himalayan pink salt – pure crack in a I’d-better-steer-clear-of-that-cookie-place sort of way). The salt counter-balances the sweetness of it all (which is less obvious because of

As for the pudding recipe, just mix the agar-agar with the chocolate syrup, bring it to a boil, stirring. Take off the heat and add the alcohol/coffee part, stirring some more.
Pour in the moulds/glasses and let cool before covering in cling film and placing in the fridge overnight.

The day after, either upturn your puddings or not, add whipped cream on top and garnish with the chocolate covered cocoa nibs.

(I got drunk just eating one of these, so don’t eat and drive, eh?)



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