Hazelnut and chocolate bites

[spacedlaw]

It was meant to be walnuts. But fate has its funky way to do business around my house so, upon running a quick survey of nuts in my kitchen cupboards, I ended up with a big packet of hazelnuts, one of almonds and a pathetic dose left from a small pack of walnuts. And some left over pine nuts which I had to throw away since the re-sealed packet boasted of no less than three butterflies and one tiny but active worm.

And thus it came to pass that my recipe took a turn to the hazelnut side of life, which is more rounded and smooth but more caloric than intended.
Then again, something that calls for 250g of nuts, 230g of sugar and 50g of butter, plus a glazing made of 100g of dark chocolate and 100g of cream was never going to be a diet item to start with. The only innocuous part in there being the 50g water; an obscenity in its own right: surely the cook meant Whisky or Kalhua instead?

To come back to the procedure, let’s say that you grind the selected nuts into powder and add a generous pinch of cinnamon. Or nutmeg. Or red pepper.
In the mean time, allow the sugar and water to mix in a heavy sauce pan and bring them to the boil. They might object but you are expected to smother any resistance by dumping the nuts and the butter in the pan and to mix thoroughly.
Lower the heat, little Torquemada and continue stirring for a couple of minutes so that the mass dries up a bit.

Line a small dish with parchment and dump the nutty mass into it. Even the surface with a spoon or spatula: the layer should be about 2 centimetres high (about an inch if you are so minded). It might still be upset: let it cool off.

Have a nice cup of tea. Pet or annoy a cat. Have another cup of tea. Life is that good when you’re not a nut.

In another bottom heavy saucepan , warm the cream and chocolate together, until they form a luscious glaze. Pour this over the nuts. I assure you they won’t complain this time.
Still. Just to be on the safe side - or rather to allow the ingredients to meet and mingle - allow this to cool off. In the fridge if you must.
Read a book in the mean time.

Once the chocolate topping is more or less set – this is never really firm, let’s say “not runny anymore” instead – cut the preparation in small portions - don’t forget about the arteries clogging potential of this piece of culinary art – and serve to friends, guests, colleagues or any random victims. Avoid eating them yourself, although one bite is generally allowed for pure quality control reasons.