14th April – COLUMN INCHES

[spacedlaw]

Rules:
“Refer to the advertising section or the classifieds in your source newspaper. Create a poem by replacing all of the nouns in your chosen ad segment or classified listing with nouns from one article in the same newspaper. You may use multiple ads/classifieds, presented in the order of your choosing”

Source: IL MESSAGGERO
I have used Google Translator for added bonus and surrealism.

There aren’t that many adds in the newspaper. Most of them are along the lines of either one of these two:

“Bellissima ragazza stupenda - spettacolare decolté - abbondante - sfrenatissima 328/**.**.*** Indipendente sempre”
(Translation: “Beautiful girl - gorgeous - spectacular cleavage – abundant - without limits 328 / **. **. *** Independent always”)

OR

“Ricerchiamo validi venditori immobiliari ambosessi, diplomati o laureate, automuniti, con esperienza documentabile nel settore immobiliare a cui affidare la vendita di appartamenti presso i nostri cantieri in Roma. Ai candidati offriamo rimborso spese, provvigioni e premio al raggiungimento degli obiettivi. I venditori immobiliari possono inviare il loro curriculum vitae via e-mail a xxx@xxxx.it Non rispondiamo alle candidature prive dei requisiti richiesti.”
(Translation: “We are looking for valuable real estate sellers of both sexes, under-graduates or graduates, with cars, having a documented experience in real estate, to be entrusted with the sale of apartments in our building sites in Rome. Candidates are offered reimbursement of expenses, commissions and bonuses for the achievement of the objectives. Real estate sellers can send their curriculum vitae by e-mail to xxx@xxxx.it We do not respond to applications not meeting the requirements.”)

Article: “Ora l’Albero è Trend anche a Pasqua”
Journalist: Valeria Arnaldi



In the first case, since the ad is mostly made of adjectives, I have also substituted these.

False
Sfere calde
Traforate lanterne
Riciclate
Rispetto 328/**.**.***
Vuote sempre


False
Hot balls
Perforated lanterns
Recycled
Compared with 328 / **. **. ***
Always empty

(Surprise from Google Translate: I was expecting a translation of respect for “rispetto”!)


In the second case I have left the adjectives as they were.

Ricerchiamo validi
Cartolerie immobiliari ambosessi,
Diplomati o laureate,
Automuniti, con sfere documentabile
Nel stile immobiliare
A cui affidare l’ispirazione di problemi
Presso i nostri bambini in Roma.
Ai balconi offriamo rimborso
Uova, cioccolata e immagini
Al rimando degli calciatori.
I semi immobiliari possono inviare
Le loro preghiere via uncinetto
a xxx@xxxx.it
Non rispondiamo alle padrone
Prive dei cinesi richiesti.


We are looking for valid
Stationery estate of both sexes,
Graduates or graduates,
Drivers with documentable balls
In the estate style
To be entrusted with the inspiration of problems
At our children in Rome.
Balconies offer refund
Eggs, chocolate and images
On return of the players.
The seeds can send real estate
Their prayers via crochet
To xxx@xxxx.it
Do not respond to the master
Without Chinese demands.